Thursday, July 19, 2012

Runners High, more importantly my high.

 Right now I am about 2.5 hours from the finish of a 6.5 mile trail run and I feel unbelievably fantastic. I am alert, energized, but very calm and relaxed. I feel this way after just about every run and most other workouts as well.

 The longer I run the longer the runners high lasts. When I do a run that goes into the teens in distance The runners high can last for a couple of days.

 It really is a fantastic feeling you should try to achieve it and when you do think of me.

The laziest scammail in recorded history

Look at this pathetic scammail

Do you need a loan ? if yes send us your:Full Name:.Country:.Amount:.Duration:.& tel

Honestly, wheres the incentive? The inappropriate use of God to give me the sense that you are an honest person. The promise of a young, kinda gross female for me to wed.

 This is a sad, droopy attempt to steal my money and frankly i am offended.

 Step it up scammers!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Flex belt.....what a piece of shit

I want to expand this blog to include my musings, and whining as a person. My replies to the oh so hilarious scam emails, and my critique of products that are for a lack of a better term a giant pile of horse shit.

First up, The Flex Belt
Look how Tone Denise Richards is and its all do to the Flex Belt. Have you heard her dull, monotone read for this piece of shit. She really knows how to sell baby!

Yeah the Flex Belt. One of many  electrical ab stimulating belts designed to give you a six pack without doing a darn thing.

 "Hey you get a six pack while sitting on the toilet with the Flex Belt."

 "Show off those sexy abs. while eating every meal  at all you can eat buffetts with the Flex Belt."

 Why doesn't it work you ask? Simple, six pack abs are something everyone has. Men, women, everybody unless you don't have an abdominal wall.

 You're abs show up when your body fat is under 10% for men and approx. 15% and under for ladies. No matter of electronic stimulation will burn enough fat in that specific area to show off the muscles underneath.

 The Flex Belt does not have the capability to strengthen an ab muscle by sending some sort of pulse through it.

 It's such silly nonsense that I am amazed that anyone would fall for it. In actuality I'm not amazed, we want a quck fix and the promise that some silly belt will give you six pack abs is very appealing to those who do not want to actually want to put the work in to actually achieve it.

 There are billions of dollars being wasted on gimmicks that will never ever work.

Here's good....stop here.....

 I was with a terrific group last night running 7.5  plus miles on the trails. It was hot, ridiculously hot like running in a tub of split pea soup hot. No biggie though its the dead of summer in the trails so yeah, its going to be hot and uncomfortable.

 The run itself was great, our route was plenty challenging and the perfect mileage for a Monday night run. One thing that was bothering me physically was our scheduled stops were causing me to feel stiff when we started back up again but that's do to my lack of consistent running lately.

 Anyway, as we powerewd our way back and hit the few spots where we had to cross the street  I was secretly grateful because at this point I was dragging ass. I felt a bit light headed, my footing was unsteady and loopy as we turned for the final 2 mile descent.

 By the time we crossed over our final street crossing I knew that it was just over a mile to go and hey there's nothing left to prove here if you feel like slowing down slow down. Okay, I was following the front group but internally i was screaming "pull back a bit, your dehydrated". I was dehydrated, my head was pounding on the back and sides and I couldn't suck down enough water from my bottles so I knew I was dehydrated but as I kept telling myself to slow down my body didn't listen. The legs wanted to keep churning, keep flowing over those rocks and roots. Run through that little stream, it feels good and the 8yr. old in me gets a kick out of it.

 With just a half mile to go I figured "ok pull back and cruise in." I didn't do it, I kept going in fact I physically had to interest in slowing down I was fighting a huge mental game and I was winning.

 Out of the woods we emerge, in my mind it was 7 graceful deer coming out of the woods with one giant slobbering ogre just trying to stay upright.

 I mentioned to a fellow runner on a previous run that my running posture is evolving, it feels looser, sloppier even. My arms feel like they flop fwd. and back and when i get tired my head falls fwd. and i find myself staring at my feet. I am a bit concerned by this because I work hard on keeping a nice form but I think this is part of me transitioning to a newer looser and hopefully faster runner. Time will tell.

 Anyway as we hit the final, little stretch of road I do slow down a tad only to look for a water fountain but there was none to be found so my head slinked down, I looked at my feet again and I slowly started to pick up my pace ever so slightly just to stretch out a bit as we finish up.

 My new favorite thing to do lately after a huge run is to go to the local 7 eleven and get a giant water or something. It doesn't matter what it is. I love walking in there completely sweat soaked, muddy, exhausted and stomping through the aisles. I picture myself looking like a swamp monster leaving little piles of sweat and mud everywhere I go.

Yay trail running!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Frustration, nervousness, sleeping badly or how i learned to embrace being poor

 Most people I am close to know that I reduced my work schedule in the past 8 months due primarily to my increased role as stay at home dad.

 Obviously I love spending all this time with the girls, its a rare treasure that we are able to swing this. Were not quite a one paycheck family because I obviously have my clients and group classes and other things that I do to bring in some cash but in reality my primary job is housekeeper.

 If we were in a slightly different financial situation and I honestly mean a slight adjustment not some HOLY SHIT WERE FUCKED! type of situation, far from it in fact. Anyway, A slight tweak would make my time at home a lot easier on my psyche.

 For a while now I have felt a bit stuck. I want to jump in and work a lot more but after crunching the numbers it would cost a hell of a lot to have 2 kids in daycare while I work. It's basically a wash so we agreed that because Danielle's job has the insurance, and benefit package I would be the one to stay home.

 I know that this is all temporary and if fact School is only 2 months away for both of the girls so this staying at home with the girls already has an end to it. Now I have to get back to where I was a little while ago.......or do I.

 Here's the newest wrinkle and it hard to admit but its true. I am a little burned out. My job isn't always fun, most people would think that working in the health and wellness world would be a lot of fun after all all you do all day is workout! The reality is that I have the task of holding the mirror up to peoples faces. When you aren't doing what you are supposed to be doing then you begin to make excuses, or cancel, or tell me you are to busy, or maybe you just don't want to do it anymore but you already paid for it so you want to muddle through.

 I simply feel stuck. I want to move forward, do new things, teach more classes. I want to be all over the island with a full list of things to do but not with the girls, i tried bringing them and it's gotten to a point that I feel unprofessional bringing them. Thira is fine she just plays but Lucia is just about 2 and a handful so I do not feel right bringing her with me anymore.

 A bit of frustration to start of the week. Now on to bike rides and wading pools....what was i complaining about again?

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My reply to scam emails

I have been posting the scam emails and my replies on fbook for a while so why not share them everywhere. Be warned I use salty, foul language in these replies.

Original email,

Swift Code: BPH KPL PK,
A/C#: 329606=101244=169=678

Attention; Dear contractor,


We Apologies, for the delay of your payment and all the Inconveniences and
Inflict that we might have indulge you through. However, we were having some
minor problems with our payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held
us stranded and Indolent, not having the Aspiration to devote our 100%
Assiduity in accrediting foreign contract payments.

From the Records of outstanding contractors due for payment with the federal
government of Nigeria, your name and company was discovered as next on the
list of the outstanding contractors who have not yet received their payments.

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square whole and can be
voguish for that your payment is being processed and will be released to you
as soon as you respond to this letter. Also note that from my record in my
file your outstanding contract payment is USD$10.700, 000.00 (Ten Million Seven
Hundred thousand United States dollars)

Kindly re-confirm to me the followings:

Your Full Name: _____________________________
Your Complete Address: _______________________
Name of City of Residence: _____________________
Country: ____________________________________
Direct Telephone Number: ______________________
Mobile Number: ______________________________
Age: _______________________________________
Fax Number: __________________________________
Occupation: __________________________________
Scan Copy of Identity_________________________

As soon as this information is received, your payment will be made to you by
the Diplomatic Agency or Wired Transfer into your nominated bank account
directly from central bank of Nigeria.

Best regards.


 My reply,

Regards to you good Lamido

How are things in Tattooine?

I heard you were having some trouble with the sand people and that is why my funding is being held upward.

You know when they travel they travel single file to hide there numbers. Some tracks are side by side. They are caused by storm troopers pretending to be local sand people DO NOT BE FOOLED BY THIS!   

Lamido, that sounds like love me do. Are you a Beatles fan LoveMeDo?

I'm glad you think I am an outstanding contractor, i think you re pretty terrific as well.

lamido lets get together, smoke cigars and help each other out.
When you transfer my millions I want you to come to my mansion in Quebec Ontario Canada. We can be free Lamido.
i will whisper Love me Do in your ear every night as we sit in a bathtub filled with monies.

I love how you tease me with talk about your square peg, I love the sexy talk. I'd love to wrap my circle of rope around your cylindrical neck squeeze it tight and watch your round eyes pop out of your swollen head. Does this exciting you my pet?

i will gladly give you my info Lammypoo

full name (as if you don't already know)       Mr. Honorable Phrederick k. Ballgrabber
company address                                               1 luv you street  Blue Ball Pennsylvania 20003330
country of residense                                           Nigeria (my heart is already there lamido)
cell #                                                                      (8907) 6-anal (its an old number from a different time lov)
Age                                                                       A lady never tells but for you anything.......8
occupation                                                          I deliver pizzas for A local pizza company, Berchims Pizza our slogan is your pizza in 4 minutes or else we
                                                                              76.00 dollars....we never make any money thankfully we also deliver crack, crank, crystal, diet pills, st.                
                                                                              Johns Wort, Diet Mountain Dew Ice, Crystal pepsi, and now Bath Salts. I love bath salts. I'm on them right now totally naked chewing on a rat I trapped in the sewer. I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING FACE LAMIDO WHERES MY FUCKING MNEY.


You have 3 minutes to respond Lamido

tick tock bitch

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I am what I am.........

 As I stumble and bumble around running here and there over this and that I have come back to realize that I am someone best suited to running in the woods and the farther the better.

 I still enjoy the track work, its a current obsession but the 7 mile run done tonight was pure pleasure. I was talking up every uphill and zipping along every flat and downhill.

 I am Darren and i am a trail runner...who also like the track.....I don't hate the road mind you its important to be well rounded but overall I am at home on the trails.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Here we go again

 A nice long weekend camping near Cape May N.J. has led me to some revelations.

 Our Airstream has some issues, the outside lights are temperamental. I couldn't get them to work the entire way down to the campsite and I believe that the trailers brakes were also not working. This is a dangerous situation and one that I decided to resolve while we were down there. I found an RV service center that had a good reputation and when we were done I hitched it over there dumped it on a field gave them my key and a list of lingering annoyances and away we went.

 Now, I am not sure if the problem is on the Airstream's side or the trucks side so I have get the truck checked as well. The truck also has a couple of odd issues to be looked at so now is the time to get it all sorted out.

 What does this have to do with anything? Its the ability to take something to completion. Instead of continuing to half ass the camping trip Danielle and I want the camper to be 100% functional so that when we are on the beach with the girls we know that everything will work when we need it to. A simple concept but in reality much harder in reality.

 Life itself is like this, we set goals but anything can get in the way so you pare back your goals until you end up right back to where you started. Obviously some things take precedent, the girls for me are my tippiest top priority. I will throw anything aside for them as most parents would.

 BUT, we use the difficulties of the day as an excuse to not pursue our dreams and that's a shame because a week later your still where you were and that "crisis" has passed. Now multiply this by a month, or a year and eventually you look back and you have a pile of half done dreams and regrets.

 One other issue that I have been thinking about recently is our lack of down time. How much time during the day do you spend staring at some sort of screen? Phone, computer, t.v., everywhere you go you have to stare into a some electronic screen.

 The question of the day for you is do you ever truly unplug yourself and relax. Try a solid half hour without looking at any electronic device. It's a lot harder than you think.